Unsent text message to Ethan

Hey Babe,

I have had a bad day, you know this already, you knew before I did.

I have to ask: How did you know? Don’t answer, I‘m not sure I even want to know.

I’m so ******* mad at myself right now. I tried to cut you off 3 times in 24hrs and every time you held firm „I‘m right here. Stop thrashing.“

This outcome simultaneously provides restlessness and relief. But, I know now with absolute clarity.. We’ve ******* got this 💙

This is my ledger: I promise to myself and to you, I will stand still. I promise to provide patience, and not rush. I promise to think of your actions and needs objectively before making decisions. I promise I will use our language to provide reassurance, accountability and affirmation.

Thank you for being my steadfast rock, thank you for your patience, thank you for trying and stepping forward. I appreciate you so much some times.

Ps. I think I’ve finally decided on your nickname: Moon 🌔

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.

Yours, Always.