Unsent text message to James

but it wasn't obsession .

For the first time I loved someone with my whole entire heart .

My ego did not exist.

I know you think you’ve lost because you lost him, and you feel like he erased you. But you have no idea how much you’re still here.

That girl he’s with now, who you’ve never met but you probably hate, has started many days in tears because he called her your name by mistake again.

He still remembers your birthday, and…

I'm so angry at some of the things you did, and the way it ended without even giving us the opportunity to try and resolve the issue.

But I can't bring myself to tell you this, because I know you are a very traumatized person, and your depression controls your reality right now.

Understanding and empathizing with that…

It was hard doing what I did today, still thinking about you and our bond. I don’t think ill ever love again. I miss you chiku. Good night my love.

Casually never bore causality. I have never owned the ability to be any less consumed. Bring me to my doom, light the fire; I'll just smile, as my ashes sparkle in the plume.

I think you have forgotten that you tried to **** me…and beat me with your fists and lied to me and cheated on me and never appreciated anything I did for you. You mocked me, insulted me, used me and manipulated/gaslit me to a point where I could no longer determine the difference between your lies and what was real…