iMessage
If you knew why I avoid your eyes, would you still keep looking at me? If you knew I notice you before I even realise I’m looking, would you find that strange? If you knew how much your attention can change my entire day, would you still give it to me so easily? If you knew how often I replay your words after you’ve gone, would you think I was foolish? If you knew how much I look forward to seeing you, would you realise how much I dread watching you leave? If you knew how often I think about you when you’re nowhere near me, would you feel flattered… or uncomfortable? If you knew how hard I’m trying not to fall any deeper, would you stop giving me reasons to? If you knew that sometimes I deliberately avoid you because being near you makes everything I’m trying to suppress feel impossible to control, would you understand? If you knew how much of my day is spent pretending I don’t care, would you see through me? If you knew that I’ve started missing someone I was never allowed to have, would you feel sorry for me? And if you knew that I’m terrified one day you’ll realise just how deeply I’ve fallen for you… Would you come closer? Or would you finally understand why I keep looking away? Because if you knew the whole truth, I don’t know what would scare me more, you wanting to know… or you knowing, and wishing you never had.
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