Unsent text message to Thomas

You make me feel bad, but not because of you. You make me feel bad because I realize that no matter how hard you try, no matter what you say to the person you love, if they’re not interested in you, NOTHING will happen xdxd:v

You can be the most thoughtful, sweetest, most sentimental person in the world, but you just…

I'm trying to accept that you will one day find somebody else. The person you find worth staying for. That you decided I'm not the one for you. As much as I want to wallow in the warmth that was us and hold onto it as much as I can even with no hope... I can now think about you with someone else. You're nerdy, artsy…

It’s a lazy rainy afternoon. I wish I could cuddle up next to you under a blanket on a couch while we scroll through dumb TikTok videos.

There’s only a couple moments in the day that I can escape this feeling of loss without you. Most of the time I’m buried in pain from the silence. But when I hope on that bike, and hit the freeway, the speed and concentration it takes to navigate where I’m going gives me a brief reprieve from these deep feelings I…

the 4 having me over

Fall dropped suddenly. It’s so cold. Part of me wishes you were here to keep me warm. And part of me knows that will lead back into the rabbit hole. Why are you so hard to forget? How did you affect me so much? You were like a wild trip that changed my life. And I’m always tempted to indulge again, despite knowing how…