Unsent text message to Heather

I know you probably don’t want me to reach out so it’s safer to spill my thoughts here.

I think about you in the mornings as I make my coffee, when I go on my walks, when I’m doing mundane tasks, when I’m out with friends, all the time. I miss the version of you I created in my head.

I’m sorry I was too clingy and…

And I guess that’s the answer I was looking for all this while. I don’t care how eager you are to know my personal life, or how comfortable you feel to share your personal life, I don’t think our relationship is really built on trust. But if can’t feel comfortable to any of my plans and just make up excuses to avoid…

Unlike you, who would rather us dance in the liminal about the state and future of our relationship, I’m opting out and leaving you.

Not for other people. But because I don’t want to be with YOU, somebody who prefers periods of ghosting to fixing our relationship problems.

I just can’t keep trusting that you’ll change…

Roses are red,

I'm going to bed.

Violets are purple,

When I wake up…

I thought it was going to be us. I want it all, the ring, the white picket fence, the babies. I want to be yours and only yours. I want us to run off into the sunset. The only time I feel like you care is when you're deep inside me. You never tell me how you feel. I ask you questions about things I find online…

D, you annoy the **** out of me sometimes. I'm trying to be friends with you, but you are SO defensive. Deal with your past already. You are way too old to have not proceseed this. Quit resisting counseling and GO before you lose the rest of your friends. Also, go **** yourself. The was no "slap in the face" comment…