iMessage
I know it was never easy. I had trouble understanding what you needed too. But I felt I did better than most would have.
I felt over time I would understand, and I wanted to. I wanted to know you, deep down inside. I wanted to be part of your healing. I wanted to be the love that you deserve but never got.
But I am human and I had my own demons I could not fight, and so I scared you off. And for that I am regretful and sorry. I think we did need more resilience so maybe this was never meant to be - any relationship eventually will experience bumps. But I wish I could have been calmer. I wasn’t ready when I met you - I just loved you so much I wanted to try.
I realize now that while you seemed so good at communicating and validating - there was a lot you were not able to explain or show to me. I felt your hurt and anger, and I wish I had known the magic words to soothe them away. But I know these are ghosts you are fighting too, not just me. I cried in therapy yesterday because I was explaining to my therapist all you had been through, and he told me this was not something I could solve for you. And I knew I had to accept we wouldn’t be together: and yet I love you so much, so it breaks my heart.
Message Unsent