Unsent text message to Carter

You don't get to do this you adolescent not when you knew my wounds not when you made me believe I could trust me not when you lied to me over and over and over and over again and not when you punish me every time for your life your game that you don't play that you obviously made exception because you've been playing…

I finally had the courage to say it: You are the first person I want to share good news with, bad news, funny moments. I tried to send you courage, hoping you’d share the small details with me. I just wanted you to be a part of my life.

But your silence hurts. You said it so politely, but behind every simple text, I…

Yesterday I left you in immense pain. Then I fell apart and didn't sleep all night, and all I could think about was you and what was happening between us. I want you to know that I can't cope with this. That I can't hate you. Because I love you so much. And this morning I returned to you and I look at you again. I…

If you care even just a little bit you would decide to not talk to me right now I am deep in what we call psychosis. I cannot sleep.i am completely broken.

. We cannot have a healthy relationship right now, and our connection is destroying me aside from the drugs. I'm rapidly disintegrating and having more blackouts…

And let me love you anyway.

Always yours love, 💋

You literally told me that I can always reach out to you, yet I still second guess everything. Do you really want* me to just reach out? Or are you just being polite? The signs are almost undeniable but I still second guess every action. Maybe you’re just naturally protective & caring for everyone around you, maybe…