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I finally had the courage to say it: You are the first person I want to share good news with, bad news, funny moments. I tried to send you courage, hoping you’d share the small details with me. I just wanted you to be a part of my life.
But your silence hurts. You said it so politely, but behind every simple text, I knew. It was panic. It was you pulling away.
Now I feel like a fool for finally telling you how I feel.
****..
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If you care even just a little bit you would decide to not talk to me right now I am deep in what we call psychosis. I cannot sleep.i am completely broken.
. We cannot have a healthy relationship right now, and our connection is destroying me aside from the drugs. I'm rapidly disintegrating and having more blackouts…
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And let me love you anyway.
Always yours love, 💋
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You literally told me that I can always reach out to you, yet I still second guess everything. Do you really want* me to just reach out? Or are you just being polite? The signs are almost undeniable but I still second guess every action. Maybe you’re just naturally protective & caring for everyone around you, maybe…
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i know that if i was with you, all i would be able to think about is if you’re gonna do to me what you did to —-. if you’d speak about me the way you spoke about her to me. if you meant it when you told her you’d never change. i struggle to see a world with you where i’d be sure i’m the only one. i’m sure about you…
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You have a very sweet way with words somedays I think you’re telling the truth. Even if you weren’t, your lies were still my favorite thing about you. My favorite thing to do was believe them. It hurt trusting you. But I did, because I loved you. I wanted to love you and your lies. I want you to lie to me one more…
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You just played with me until I broke, then discarded me.
But I could see your soul, beneath all of that, and it was truly beautiful.
So I'll pray that you will heal in this life or maybe in another.
You never deserved what she did to you…
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