Unsent text message to Christopher

I am doing better , I am finally studying as you wanted me to. I am better than before. I wish you were here though.

Needed for everything I did but unwanted for who I was,

Tolerated for my willingness to self abandon to keep the peace

Wanted, desired but never loved.

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. We’re the same and you know it. We’re never getting back together but damn I miss you!

i know it's because she figured out there's something "special" between us from how you acted in the dance space. and now you're trying to minimize damage and avoid jeopardizing something important in your life by changing the way we interact. and how we connect when you're on your retreats, which she probably wants…

There has always been something inherently wrong with me, Im too loud, too messy, too talkative, too much. Im not meant to be kept, I am meant for practice. Im the training wheels to learn on before I am outgrown for a real bike. Im not the girl you bring home to your mom, Im not the one you bring to events, Im the…

Idk if he even has an account anymore and don’t want to play tomb raider on here to find out.

Yes, I have 2 other accounts. None of the over the over the top woe is me damning some man to eternal hell/ picking him apart or poetically professing undying love/desire are me to him. Actually I don’t really post anything…