Unsent text message to James

if i did, i'm sorry. i know i'm a lot to deal with...

I can't do this. I can't go to work like this. Please I’m sorry, come back.

I’m sorry I screwed things up. I always do. I wish I could get you out of my head. You don’t have to reply.

is a long time without you

😔

Are you happy? are you good? do you eat well? so you sleep well? do u ever regret leaving me for her? did u stop drinking and become a good familly man? Those are questions that i wonder often, even after so long time, i want it to stop, im tired carrying this trauma all by myself, while you probably never think of me…

I'm your worst nightmare. You don't know it yet. But I'm more evil than you know. I'm the pain you carry, I'm the laughter you lose. And when you think to yourself, why did that happen. Then know that it's me