Unsent text message to John

Are you happy? are you good? do you eat well? so you sleep well? do u ever regret leaving me for her? did u stop drinking and become a good familly man? Those are questions that i wonder often, even after so long time, i want it to stop, im tired carrying this trauma all by myself, while you probably never think of me…

I'm your worst nightmare. You don't know it yet. But I'm more evil than you know. I'm the pain you carry, I'm the laughter you lose. And when you think to yourself, why did that happen. Then know that it's me

Idk why but i was thinking about when u quit work. I asked for weeks prior, are you sure you're ok with this? Why would i care? You said. Well because I'm going to be standing there talking to a pretty and younger woman all night. It won't be just all about you anymore. I didn't know it at the time, but this began a…

Have a tarantula together? I think we'd be good tarantula parents >/////< just thoughts while I get drunk with your dad

I have PTSD. Like I actually lost my mind for a moment there, I’m not even exaggerating. This isn’t being over dramatic, I want you to really sit there for a second and re read this, do you even know how bad it got. All because I cared, about YOU. All because I wanted to be HEARD. All because I wanted to be SEEN. I…

Have you had a moment forced the whole heart to grow or retract? Or just shrink. Does the heart shrink?