Unsent text message to Gavin

We have gone totally different paths a d have grown so far apart. At this point I'm only ******* ****** by holding on... I need to let you go. Im no longer where you belong

You know what, I finally give up. Looking back, I was anxious the entire time. I was angry for the last half of it. I ended up not listening to myself, but for some reason believing in you.

It didn't matter though, because I cared...

In the end, I got burned; I am not without blame.

I never needed you. I never wanted to…

There's a rare kind of love you stumble into only once in a lifetime...

Someone who feels like home in a world that's constantly shifting. You can talk for hours and never run out of words, or sit in silence and still feel understood. They see your soul, the messy, beautiful, unfiltered parts, and love you even more…

You ever feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist? for a version of yourself you lost? for a time when things felt easier? that nostalgia for something you can't return to is a special kind of sadness, you can't go back and that realization hurts every time.

I don’t expect to receive a gift from you on my birthday. I’d be happy with you just remembering and wishing me it. But then again you’ll remember because everything is gonna remind you. If it didn’t tell you, would you remember or even care?

That you never loved me back. It hurts that I invested so much time, energy, and even money to be met with nothing. You were very clear about not wanting me in the way that I wanted you but damn I loved you fiercely. If you had returned my feelings, I know we would have made it work. I’m relentless in that way. I have…