iMessage
TW, unaliving discussion
Did you really actually intentionally try to make me unalive myself? Apparently, there are some offshoots of the manosphere (which u follow and are acquainted with) that encourage this. I'm kind of in disbelief, but there's reason to believe that that might have been your goal. Sitting here, as i write this, I feel so sad with my eyes tearing up. I want to understand why you think it's ok to deliberately do something like that. Did u hate me? R u disappointed that I am pulling out of that deep pain of loss and depression? That I'm grieving and working through this pain so I can resume my life? Is my existence so meaningless to you? You held me, made love to me, looking lovingly into my eyes while you were deep inside me. Holding me firmly while you slowly, gently filled me. You made me feel like no one else ever has. Yet, it was all a game? And i fell for it. 🤦♀️😥 Part of me would still rather die than accept the loss of this imaginary bond. Luckily, that part grows weaker as time moves on.
I hate that you won't tell me your side. I think i deserve an explanation. But I seriously doubt I'll ever get one.
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