Unsent text message to Barbara

I wish I could say, “I wish you the best.”

I do not. Why should I?

You don’t deserve it.

...manifesting me at 4 am.

I was sound asleep when I began to smell you and the tears pooled against my pillow case. Allow me to absolve our contract, as you wish. You have removed any options for contact and relinquished control.

I would have loved you with every cell in my body until the day I died of exhaustion…

You are never up this late. You must be really suffering right now. I saw the news. I'm sorry.

I was able to forgive you before. Primarily for my own peace of mind. As I continue to be held in this suffocating position, mentally altered, scared, solely because of your three decades of abusive trauma, I realize I have wounds that will never heal fully. Without doubt you believe this path you’ve chose, without my…

And I still don't know how to live without you

He’s not on here much, if at all.

When I’ve asked how he feels about you, he’s told me that if it weren’t for me, he’d never speak to you.

He’s said he isn’t attracted to you, and that he doesn’t really care for some of the choices you make in your life.

For what it’s worth, I personally think you’re an amazing and…