Unsent text message to Hailey

Genuinely think one of the most intimate things in the entire world is wanting someone when your tired… like wow. I just had the longest day ever and don't want to speak to anyone but i really want you to sit next to me.

blank my mine, please

I wish I could say, “I wish you the best.”

I do not. Why should I?

You don’t deserve it.

...manifesting me at 4 am.

I was sound asleep when I began to smell you and the tears pooled against my pillow case. Allow me to absolve our contract, as you wish. You have removed any options for contact and relinquished control.

I would have loved you with every cell in my body until the day I died of exhaustion…

You are never up this late. You must be really suffering right now. I saw the news. I'm sorry.

I was able to forgive you before. Primarily for my own peace of mind. As I continue to be held in this suffocating position, mentally altered, scared, solely because of your three decades of abusive trauma, I realize I have wounds that will never heal fully. Without doubt you believe this path you’ve chose, without my…

And I still don't know how to live without you