Unsent text message to Natalie

You actively deflect and refuse to answer any direct questions about feeling or our future. There is a time for ambiguity. That time is nearing its end.

I know you think i ghosted you. All i did was protect my peace. I told you my abandonment issues meant you had to explain when you disappeared. I never told you that you couldnt leave me alone for a few days, i never said you couldnt take time for yourself, everyone deserves time to themselves a break. All i did was…

Spilled them everywhere.

You kicked them aside and pretended not to see it.

I'll clean up my own mess and learned to never be honest and vulnerable with you as "You don't know how to respond"

So you just ignore…

Drove past the places we once met each other and were once happy together. I felt tears in my eyes and sadness in my chest. I miss you S.

Lately when we talk I’ve been having a feeling.. something that causes a hitch in my breath because it feels like we’re right on the edge. The edge of admitting how we truly feel. Not too long ago you started by telling me you had something to talk to me about… it felt like an almost confession from you. Then after…

G T if you wana keep me blocked go ahead, if that’s what it takes to forget the utter cruel hurt you caused traumatising me so you don’t have to deal with the guilt. I guess it just means you no longer deserve my loyalty. Take that as you will. GP