iMessage
I know you think i ghosted you. All i did was protect my peace. I told you my abandonment issues meant you had to explain when you disappeared. I never told you that you couldnt leave me alone for a few days, i never said you couldnt take time for yourself, everyone deserves time to themselves a break. All i did was message you “good morning handsome” because thats how i wanted to start mine and your day. With a good morning. You said it was the best part of your day sometimes. That talking to me was the best part of your day. Then it became obvious i was the only one putting in effort that last week. Our conversations lasted maybe 30 minutes. You stopped calling, you stopped sending voice notes, you stopped communicating. You made it obvious you no longer wanted me to be a part of your day. Theres still a line open if you want to talk. Not to give me excuses. You told me you would tell me you weren’t interested, then you didn’t even respect me enough to do that. I had to protect myself from the pattern that was starting to show up. I felt the withdrawal. I almost told you i loved you the last time i saw you. When i kissed you it was on the tip of my tongue because the fear was gripping me. I knew it was the last time i would see you. I think my body thought if i told you i loved you it could save us. But it would have just been drawing out the inevitable. I do love you. But i love myself enough to love you from a distance and hope that you get whatever you want in life and everything you deserve.
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