Unsent text message to Vanessa

All i wanted to know was that you are ok. I knew you wouldn't deal with the break up well. You refused to get help or even acknowledge there waa a problem. It was just all me, all the time. And yea i made plenty of mistakes. It's like nothing I did ever made anything better. Everything i did waa just something elsw to…

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to hit the block button. I didn't want to turn my back on a decade of friendship. I didn't want to go.

You're the one that refused to communicate at every ******* turn. You're the one that couldn't open their ******* mouth and speak their mind for once. When have I ever shut you…

As I lay here in bed in my truck and rub my neck from where I fell off of the truck last Christmas rushing to get to you I ask myself when do I get my happy ending? I gave you so much of myself that I can't get you out of me . No matter what I've tried. Did I ever mean anything to you? You just left me in the cold…

I caught the last one, I’ll catch the next one too, it’s all being noted. I meant it when I told you to leave me alone. Now I get to go away on holiday again. Try not commit another crime while I’m gone. There was a time I loved you, probably still do. My version of help is just not ruining your life. Shocking I know…

Now i remember this one time we talked one night a year ago and you asked me if i think you were obnoxious or rude and rock headed. I told you that you were not and that i loved the way you debate and confront. I'm sorry. You were a bit obnoxious, though i loved it i should've told you that you were a bit rock headed…

366 days. I year and one day since I blocked you. Not a day has passed where you haven’t been on my mind. I’ve tried, I really have. Many times. So yeah… you win.