Unsent text message to Austin

You ruined the version of me that believed love could be safe.

Before you, I never believed in soulmates. I had never truly been in love. I had never looked at someone and thought, I found my future husband. I had never called anyone and said those words with complete certainty. And then there was you.

You made me…

You know it’s crazy when you was good to me i’d never been happier you where a single red rose in the middle of a field

I never anticipated the things you would soon do to me

You made me realize I can never risk seeking love again i’ve been so numb yet so emotional at the same time

You made song lyrics about this stuff…

my oh my.. that was an absolute wild time, when I least expected it but when I needed it the most

The stars aligned out there in the desert

And the dunes will always carry your Sweet Sweeeeet Scent..

😘

I’m going back over our conversations and making a playlist from every song that you have sent me. I love watching videos you send me and looking at pictures that you have sent me. I am not sure you realize how in love with you I am or believe it because I can’t help but be amazed by you and completely and utterly…

2 a.m. and I can't sleep. Got the key to the garage today and started moving stuff in. I wanted to share it with you. Took some pictures, obviously. I didn't send them, because I promised I wouldn't.

It's not the same without you. I miss you.

And I'd probably regret posting this, because if you read it, it means I broke…

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't stay and let you punish me by isolating and ghosting me for weeks on end. If I'd known...yeah I probably still would have come back. And somehow....Ren Faire was still worth it.

I'm sure you don't care. You probably moved on. I unblocked you...again. Not because I think you'd see this...no…