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You have no idea how much I have to contain when I see you. There are things I want to do that I never let myself act on. Things I feel in the split second you’re close, when my mind forgets every reason I should keep my distance. I want to stay a little longer. Stand a little closer. Let my eyes linger instead of looking away. I want to know what it would feel like to stop holding myself back and let you see exactly what you do to me. But I swallow it all. I smile. I act normal. I pretend my heart isn’t racing and my thoughts aren’t somewhere they shouldn’t be. And then you walk away, and I’m left alone with everything I wanted to say, everything I wanted to do, and the unbearable knowledge that none of it ever leaves my head.
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