Unsent text message to Evan

The last time we spoke, you made this very clear. That's ok. I accept that you see me as a "bad" individual. I accept that my influence on your life wasn't good. I am sorry for the effects, both long and short term, that our relationship may have had/still has on you. I know you're too tough to linger there for long.

I…

Hey, I miss you so much. You were my first serious relationship, I don’t hold a grudge against you for burning out or getting tired of us because I played a part in that too.

I’m trying to respect your decision but I can see that this is painful for you as well. You said you still love me, and I believe it, otherwise…

I told you time and time again, to stop messing with that because it wasn't right. Not to mention all the universes rules u guys broke. May the ultimate divine have mercy on you and all those you tricked and lied to, so they could join you on this kamizae mission. It didn't work the first couple of times and it's not…

I just wanted u to know that i appreciate u sm!! I always felt like everyone else was saying it to be nice. But i believed you when u said. I was definitely sus at first but now i believe you. I realize that power i now hold in my um...

.hands. i promise to only use it's power for good. I never would have known…

I don’t want to see you at all. After everything that you’ve done, I refuse to see you ever. The way you traumatized me for months is ****** up. And what’s worse is that you’re going to invalidate my feelings. Yes, I know it’s true because you’ve tried to manipulate me to believe otherwise about your actions. I am…

I know you all know the real me and you’ve probably started noticing what a manipulative lying pos I am turning into. One who’s selfish, cold and in a constant state of melancholy.

I am scared ******** , but this is something I did to myself. I don’t want to cause anymore hurt. All of you mean the world to me, and I…