iMessage
The last time we spoke, you made this very clear. That's ok. I accept that you see me as a "bad" individual. I accept that my influence on your life wasn't good. I am sorry for the effects, both long and short term, that our relationship may have had/still has on you. I know you're too tough to linger there for long.
I think about you everyday. About our missing one another in conflict. About how our protective measures often cost the other's safety. I'm sorry for my participation in that too.
Heard you locked in that spot you were eyeing and I was so stoked for you and proud of you and I wanted to reach out to congratulate you so badly. But I remember that you don't see me as good, I recognize and accept that, and I recognize and accept that anything from me likely wouldn't be welcome or received well.
Though it continues to break my heart after all of this time, I accept it. I won't contribute to negativity in your life anymore. I don't think I have the kind of love that ever dies. I've just become adept at learning to live with the heartache. I genuinely hope you're doing well. I wish we could muster up the trust to talk again. I still swear our connection was real.
I wish you all the best.
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