iMessage
JP, I know this sounds crazy, but I think I love you.
I know I shouldn’t, I know that you said you weren’t looking for a relationship, but then you keep changing your mind and coming back to me. We’re in this casual/hookup dynamic that you initially didn’t want but changed your mind and decided you did. And I just want you to want me so I’ll take it. I know I shouldn’t have more self respect but part of me doesn’t believe that you don’t have some sort of feelings for me. You invite me to events with you, to hang with you and your friends, to stay the night with you. I really don’t know if we would work or not, we’ve never really tried. You say we didn’t click or connect but you keep coming back. I wish we could at least try. I feel like you have so many walls, it’s hard to tell what’s on your mind or what you’re thinking. When you open up about your brother, it makes me feel special.
And yes, all that, and I still think I love you. Your little smirky smiles, how passionate you get about soccer, the way we can just sit and watch a movie or sit by the fire on the roof. Going camping and hiking and dancing together at shows. In the moment, I always feel so good with you, it’s the after where I feel alone and confused again because we’re not together. Even though I question what you’re thinking or feeling, I just feel cozy with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the nerve to tell you. So here it is again, one more time. JP, I think I love you and I wish we could actually try to be together.
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