Unsent text message to Zach

I know you probably won’t read this but I need to say it. I hate you for what you did, how you left, but I still love you. You said you were scared of leaving and thought over it for a weeks maybe even months. During that time I asked if you where okay, if we where okay, because you where growing distant. You lied…

admit it already? Why do we gotta drag our feet? Do I really need to ******* spell it out for you, really?? You know I'm not coming to you. I'm a stubborn *****. I won't run to anyone anymore... Make sure you make this worth my time spent.

It's in the palm of your hand now, baby

It's a yes, not a no or a maybe 😉

Come get…

because you ARE my drug. and my high school English teacher was right, drugs DO destroy dreams.

i experienced withdrawals from you. i have cravings. i wonder if it was really so bad. i rewrite history so that i remember you with rose colored glasses.

and then it passes. and i look at some of the things i wrote to myself…

Ikki,

I wish that when you had said this, I didn’t immediately get side tracked with my laundry. I wish you had brought this up again so that we could have actually done this. I remember you said you had a few in mind. I wish I had asked what they were.

It has been 6 years since we have spoken. How is it even possible…

When dude from California started spreading lies about me, you didn't bother to ask me for my side of things, you just melded into the false narrative, and decided all of our interactions, all of the warmth, the fondness, and heartfelt conversations about kids, dogs, exes, among many others were meaningless, and had…

what do I dooooooo about that

HOW DID IT EVEN HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEEE

it’s so on brand for me though honestly

falling in LOVE with some ******* PIXELS FROM GOD KNOWS WHERE…