Unsent text message to Matthew

Hey, I've been thinking a lot about what you told me before my flight. You're right, I do deserve happiness and to live life for myself. So I'm going to take your advice.. and let you go. I know you know why I've made this decision.

Thank you for all the moments together, thank you for all the amazing meals you made…

yea we both were **** with eachother

but i felt like we couldve worked it out if you communicated

because i know i tried so hard to keep this alive

i want to text you saying that i miss you alot…

and there are alot of questions i wanna ask but you’ll ignore it and defend yourself let curiosity **** me

I did it, i actually walked by your place and something let go! For the first time I feel happy and starting to feel free!

I hope you have a good life. I am not sorry for letting you go. You were not good for me, you brought your traumas and had me paying for them, you looked for attention from others, you became the…

I knew it years ago, I thought I made a mistake or saw things differently, but you didn't chose me then and neither did you now or in the future. I can see now that our situationship wasn't right for me and it was never going to evolve to fulfill my needs or give me the chance to be a partner to you.

I set myself up. My shadow worked in secret so that I could finally let my ego die. And let go of pride. ****. Rip...