Unsent text message to Ava

Tonight, I lay here in bed, in a house full of people and all I can think about is you. Maybe it’s the 3 glasses of wine speaking. Maybe it’s the meaning behind this weekend. But all I can think of is you. I miss you. And you don’t even deserve that. You hurt me so badly.

I miss who you were before it all went wrong…

I told you something last summer as if it was a passing whim or a folly. Maybe then not now. I have gone bat 💩 since then. While you may be under the impression that i am quite recovered. I am actually crazed in some new way. Don’t be afraid. I will be composed.

I’m so ******* tired of how I’ve been treated. I would have moved the world for you. When you were hurting, I cared. When you were scared, I wanted you to feel safe. I tried to understand you, give you space, forgive, reassure, and constantly look at what I could do better. And somehow I ended up feeling like my own…

It’s been awhile since I talked to you. Yes, since I talked to you. Because you never talked to me, it was always me closing the gap.

Shoulda been a sign enough huh?

But then I get to thinking sometimes, less often now than back then. I wasn’t making this up. Whatever THIS is.. was.

So anyways I been so busy in my real…

You know this is for you. Please read this and think back to 2022:

“I wish you all the best. Sorry we didn’t make it together. I’ll always think of you.”

I hope this jogs your memory.

\- Forever yours.

I've missed you dearly, I think about you everyday. I wanted us to work as a couple.

I wanted only you forever and everyday since the day we met.

The pain i feel seems eternal… do you think of me? Do you miss my love? My birthday was yesterday, did you think of me? You were my everything for so long. It's not just you I…