Unsent text message to Claire

Every day, it gets easier to understand that you weren’t willing to pay the price my love would have cost you.

You had, and still have, more important things to you.

I’m starting to learn how to live with that knowledge.

10 years of a life built together. I Wish you understood what kind of dedication that is to a person. I Wish it wasn’t so easy for you to just throw away. I Wish you understood why I had to go no contact in order to protect my peace. I know it hurts you that I don’t reply when you text me messages about missing me and…

I have missed you every single day we have been apart. I know I need to get over it and you probably don't even think of me anymore. I just don't know how to move on. I push anyone who gets even remotely close to me thinking that they are not you. No one can be you.

I don't have the audacity to tell you any of this and…

Did you miss me? Have you thought of knowing what I am doing lately?

We used to update each other on what was happening to us every single day. Now, my phone is completely quiet, and it feels strange not telling you about my day, or hearing about yours.

I know why we stopped. I know our differences felt too heavy, and I…

"I love you more than the air I breathe " thats what u said. I always thought why is she trying so hard to convince me? But now i think you were love bombings yourself. You knew you didn't really care about me. Just why?

*** do you want from me? What’s it going to take to end this? I’m beyond exhausted mentally & physically. My struggle to survive in peace increases & feels as though I’m being strangled.