iMessage
I have missed you every single day we have been apart. I know I need to get over it and you probably don't even think of me anymore. I just don't know how to move on. I push anyone who gets even remotely close to me thinking that they are not you. No one can be you.
I don't have the audacity to tell you any of this and I know you would not like to talk about it. I can't help but misssss you. It has been so darn long and it just does not get better.
I wish you nothing but happiness in life and I hope to see you achieve whatever you set out to achieve. I only wish I could be beside you to witness it all, wish I was the person you wanted to share this life.
I was, wasn't I? I don't know what's wrong with me, I cannot believe that anyone could ever like me for who I am. That they will never want to stay with me if they knew me completely. I feared that you would have just left once you got to spend years with me and that is so irrational I know and I know you would have never left me and this cannot be an excuse to all the hurt I caused.
This feels like a life I wasn't supposed to live, I wish I could go back in time and do this all differently. Very differently.
If there is a reality where we never parted our ways, where I was better and I never let you go. A reality where I got to wake you up with a forehead kiss each morning. A reality where we get to hold each other at the end of every day. Where I get to lay my head on your lap and foeget about all the ******** in life. A reality where I get to grow old with you, I would love that reality.
Life feel meaningless without you. Every achievement feels mehh if I dont get to tell you about it.
I know I need to keep living but without you that's all I am doing, living. I miss you.
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