Unsent text message to Shane

Today I needed a lighter. To smoke my legal. I picked white for death—change. The death of the old, so the new can grow. Though I am terrified not so much of change but of comfort, not of the future’s uncertainty but its very possibility. What needs to die is this—harboring you in my heart, an empty boat, abandoned

i wasn’t ready to have to go through this again, yet, for you. the wounds from the first still reek of fresh death; someone who, although they thought it, could not make decisions for you. i am hurting for you from the past, the one that does not involve me, with her, this second. she who certainly can make choices in…

I’m sorry, but I just want you to reach out, I miss us hanging out and talking. I will have reoccurring thoughts of us going out and doing things together and how we had a great time. Someone asked me if I was in a relationship ( hypothetically) if I would go back and I said I would, just because we had a long…

Dear C, I have nothing to lose at this point, okay? It feels like you’re already gone. I just want you to know that all your secrets and everything you ever shared with me will stay safe, always. You know, we hadn’t talked for so long, and during that time, I kept piling up things I wanted to share with you. I hoped…

If you can feel the mood I'm in right now. I'm a bit achey lol I need some relief

She was mever going to love you. She was never going to be the answer you're searching for. They don't have to talk to you. They all despise you. You see it and hear it. But you let it slide because you want affection. Just go ******* cry about it. Cry because you're lonely. Cry for the death of the old you. Cry…