Unsent text message to Ryan

I wish we were together I wish you were in my bed, even if you were just asleep. My friends are in town visiting and I had so much fun tonight but I feel lost and untethered and I wish things were different. I wish so many things. I’m just imagining you next to me now, telling me everything would be ok. That I’m a…

You sure did pull it off 👏

I really want to text you, but I can’t anymore. I hope your day was great, and I hope tomorrow is even better. I miss hearing about your work. I still worry about you all the time.

Hey. I just want you to know that I now realize how silly it was for me to keep hoping that maybe you would pick me. God. I feel so pathetic. It makes me feel gross to think about how many times I made you say it over and over again how you don't choose me. Especially after convincing me to commit to you! Goodness.

If I…

remember that goal you told me about recently? about looking at your phone less first thing in the morning... i wonder how that's going for you 🤔 lol

With love.

Had to change my number, and seeing as I have not spoken with you in 3 years and about 40 number changes I doubt you have this one.

I'd give it to you you know. In a heart beat.

I got a job, well not yet. I got a job offer. But I have no way to get there, no clothes that fit the uniform requirements, and I'm a ******…