Unsent text message to Lauren

remember that goal you told me about recently? about looking at your phone less first thing in the morning... i wonder how that's going for you 🤔 lol

With love.

Had to change my number, and seeing as I have not spoken with you in 3 years and about 40 number changes I doubt you have this one.

I'd give it to you you know. In a heart beat.

I got a job, well not yet. I got a job offer. But I have no way to get there, no clothes that fit the uniform requirements, and I'm a ******…

i genuinely believe you would rather want me dead. why is this so hard. im on the verge of sending myself to the hospital again just to get a break from this reality youre putting me through. caring about your pressence is agonizing, i just want to feel normal

I have made a poor choice tonight. Oopsie hehe. Good to know where I still stand with you though. Keep on keeping on you ****** terrible little dude

I know you would be glad to hear how hard this has been for me. Its just awful. Now its getting cold. I wake up, by myself, normally i roll over and rub your back to see if you're awale yet. If you were already up i would kiss your forehead , first thing. You were my whole world. Literally the only woman for me. Now i…

I’m not so slowly…dying.

Alone.

It’s become clear how bad my health is; but I won’t let anyone know the truth. I stopped taking my meds a long time ago. They are just a crutch to get me through a little longer.

I’m literally withering away in front of everyone’s eyes but no one shows up. There is no way to begin to…