Unsent text message to Thomas

Hey. I just want you to know that I now realize how silly it was for me to keep hoping that maybe you would pick me. God. I feel so pathetic. It makes me feel gross to think about how many times I made you say it over and over again how you don't choose me. Especially after convincing me to commit to you! Goodness.

If I…

remember that goal you told me about recently? about looking at your phone less first thing in the morning... i wonder how that's going for you 🤔 lol

With love.

Had to change my number, and seeing as I have not spoken with you in 3 years and about 40 number changes I doubt you have this one.

I'd give it to you you know. In a heart beat.

I got a job, well not yet. I got a job offer. But I have no way to get there, no clothes that fit the uniform requirements, and I'm a ******…

i genuinely believe you would rather want me dead. why is this so hard. im on the verge of sending myself to the hospital again just to get a break from this reality youre putting me through. caring about your pressence is agonizing, i just want to feel normal

I have made a poor choice tonight. Oopsie hehe. Good to know where I still stand with you though. Keep on keeping on you ****** terrible little dude

I know you would be glad to hear how hard this has been for me. Its just awful. Now its getting cold. I wake up, by myself, normally i roll over and rub your back to see if you're awale yet. If you were already up i would kiss your forehead , first thing. You were my whole world. Literally the only woman for me. Now i…