Unsent text message to Rachel

i genuinely believe you would rather want me dead. why is this so hard. im on the verge of sending myself to the hospital again just to get a break from this reality youre putting me through. caring about your pressence is agonizing, i just want to feel normal

I have made a poor choice tonight. Oopsie hehe. Good to know where I still stand with you though. Keep on keeping on you ****** terrible little dude

I know you would be glad to hear how hard this has been for me. Its just awful. Now its getting cold. I wake up, by myself, normally i roll over and rub your back to see if you're awale yet. If you were already up i would kiss your forehead , first thing. You were my whole world. Literally the only woman for me. Now i…

I’m not so slowly…dying.

Alone.

It’s become clear how bad my health is; but I won’t let anyone know the truth. I stopped taking my meds a long time ago. They are just a crutch to get me through a little longer.

I’m literally withering away in front of everyone’s eyes but no one shows up. There is no way to begin to…

At the park a couple hours out where I first took you to?

I hope to see you there. ♥️

You gotta wait. Yeah?