Unsent text message to Jasmine

I'd just want you to know who I am. I've always been misunderstood. But lately my beliefs and actions have been kind of linking up. Some things I am still working on. I've been a decent human. Does anyone really know that? Idk. Do I do it anyway? Yeah. Sometimes I dont even know why, other than I just know that…

K, tomorrow is your birthday. Part of loving you now is accepting that you may never know all the little things I still wish for you. I wish I could hold you. I wish I could buy you DoorDash . I wish I could hear what’s happened in your life and who you’ve become. More than anything, I hope tomorrow is kind to you. I…

I held the worst of you and never loved you less;

You held the truest parts of me and answered with disgust.

I offered you a love so whole it left me nowhere to hide,

And you looked at my devotion like something rotten inside :(

I know i deserve better. I deserve better than someone who didn’t communicate. Than someone who decided the fate of our relationship without involving me. By checking out of the relationship two weeks before its end and distancing themselves from me while reassuring me we were fine. I know I didn’t deserve that. And…

I'm not sure how I've coped with so many days and nights of desperately wanting to reach out, just to break the suffocating silence.

You ****** up my heart, my nervous system and burned my entire life to the ground, for what?

It's been 6 months and you're still living in my head rent free. GTFO.

It terrifies me to think…

That i want to go home. But you dont believe because youre waiting for a GIRL and im a BOY

There is no "you can aways come home".