Unsent text message to Ashley

i know i sent you an email with an update, but i'm really struggling tonight.

i have a feeling you are too. we had two challenging days this week. we always struggle with separation after difficult topics. we never got to talk about intimacy, as planned, but next week... :)

writing here really helps me, but it's getting…

Please don’t reach out to me anymore . Not even to be nasty, or use me as a punching bag. It’s not necessary and the real reason I haven’t moved on. You and your 27 returns. You don’t even like me, you’ve said that yourself, and freely to other people. And ive never been your friend so to continue doing this, for any…

The thing that really stings? Grandma gave me a box that said my hats, shoes, lol, but along with that, the spray you left me. You've done that twice now. I can't help but to use it every night. I know I'm the guy, but it makes me me safe being able to smell you near me.

I’ll take the pain because you’re worth it!

listening to giveon. it makes me think about you. i miss you so much and all that we had. i wish you were here instead. i dream about you lately.

It’s been almost a year since you disappeared. Not a word before it, just … gone.

I dream about you sometimes. Generally just random things. At some of those favorite places you showed me photos of, doing mundane things, just enjoying each other’s company.

I’ll never know what made you decide go just disappear. I wish I…