Unsent text message to Amber

I think if I had one wish it would be that I could stop loving you.

Not because you’re a horrible person. Because you’re not. Not because I hate you either, because I don’t. Far from it.

But this ******* hole in my chest. What the ****. I thought it was gone. I’ve been okay for weeks, nearly months now. So why, why did…

I wish I could take your pain away, but it’s not my place. I want so badly for you to see life doesn’t have to be lived through addiction. Pain can be so awful, it doesn’t have to rule your life, though. I know it aches, when people aren’t what we think, or they change into someone else entirely, someone who’s not the…

You could have had this life years ago. You could have gotten your puppy, enjoyed your life, and made your choices without pulling me back into this cycle over and over again. The only reason and I mean only reason you ever returned was because you didn’t have a consistent source of sustenance because you kept burning…

Please don’t marry her. I know that sounds pathetic but I don’t give a ****

Just come home

I miss you

I feel this pull in my soul in my spirit and I can’t shake it no matter how hard I try. Please for the love of God just tell me how you feel without your passive game playing

Do you know how frustrating it is that you keep telling me I'm "basically the best human being alive" and that "nobody deserves me" even though you chose to leave me?

I couldn't have made it any more clear that you are the one I want.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, you wouldn't hate what you see so much.