Unsent text message to Wyatt

I don't know what you want or don't want. I'm guessing either do you. All I know is that I'm getting whiplash, and motion sickness from this roller coaster that I might be on by myself. I have no effing idea. But it's driving me freaking crazy.

~ R

I still miss you. I still long for this to be a nightmare I can wake up from. I wish you would finally unblock me and stop treating me like a burden… I love you with my whole entire heart and soul, even still. After everything you did, I would still take you back. I don’t want to move on. I don’t want anybody else. I…

It’s strange that somebody can make you so happy when they are with you and things are good. When they flip that switch because they are tired of you or bored of you the world feels like it comes crashing down. It hurts so much to be rejected and forgotten by the one you want the most. How does this come to be? This…

I wasn’t sure if I should let you know or not, it seems like you want nothing to do with me. I got my dream job, the one we always talked about… the one at the same location as you. I haven’t run into you yet but I’m terrified to… it’s funny bc when I was unstable after our breakup I wanted nothing but to see you and…

So close yet so far ha ha. Just a train away. Do I want to see you? Do I not want to see you? Do I want to talk to you? Do I not want to talk to you?

And if I do see you .. what do I do? What’s the whole point? Rekindle somn that’ll blow up in my face again cos I’m not exactly what you want?

F*ck this and **** you for…

I just miss you. I just want to know you’re okay I want to look into your eyes and see for myself that you’re happy I adore you I long for you I can’t get you out of my head, just like you wanted. I want to feel your breath on me I want to feel your body pressed against mine I want to look in your eyes Kiss you so…