iMessage
You said you would wait.
You said you understood
You said take my time
So I've been doing the work
I've been doing counseling
I've been trying to break negative patterns in real time
I'm trying my best to learn how to love myself so I can love you properly.
But I feel you pulling away.
You don't text as much you don't respond as much.
You don't help for no reason as much. You don't check on me as much.
One of my favorite things about you was you were the first person in my whole life I didn't have to ask for what I needed it's like you saw me. Truly saw me. And it scared me. But it also excited me.
I took space, I am currently taking space so that I can be healthier. You wouldn't have wanted me before. Even still.
People can say that you don't need to be perfect to get into a relationship.. but that's not what I am talking about.. perfection is not something I aim for..
I am talking about self sabotage - I would hate you for loving me. I would not respect you. I don't look at your nice and think " finally. I really deserve this" I look at it and think " what's he hiding. When is the other shoe going to drop" I would ruin you. And I wouldn't be doing it intentionally. But I would, just like every good thing in my life.. I respect you enough to be honest.
Now you be honest.
You can't want me when I am broken and broke and be so into it and then once I do exactly what I say, act like I am doing something wrong..
You liked me better when I needed you. When I couldn't handle myself . Huh?
It makes no sense.
\-b
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