Unsent text message to Lisa

I know u will never text again but i pray to the old gods and the bew that you will. I would do anything to fix this. Or unload on you one ladt time. Or leave you on read like u have done me. Just ******* text me.

You treated me so badly after my dog died and with such disregard I don’t think I want to talk to you again. Yeah I think I’m done too. Congrats. You pushed away someone who truly cared.

To my twitch, to whom in which i betrayed multiple times being unfaithful towards. I want you to know i definitely regret all my actions. I wish i had just treated you the way you deserved to be treated, and stuck it out with you. There were so many times after my departure i wanted to come running back to you and…

It would be embarrassing, desperate, ugly, me going over my own boundaries. But I do wish you would reach out and apologize for real. You aren’t capable of that though, you only say sorry because you want forgiveness, and even then I feel like you’re trying to provoke anger. I can’t believe I’m such a mess, I hate…

thank you for the email today - made me smile :)

sometimes i can't sleep because i'm so happy to be seeing you soon.

found some great music for us tomorrow. for a great ...conversation..................

With love.

D,

how messed up is it that I can spend the night with such a great guy and then go home and think about you? why am I still thinking about and wanting someone that I meant nothing to? I just want to be released from this mental prison but you are always there in my mind lurking.

K