iMessage
The only difference is that you aren't there anymore.
And somehow, after all this time, I still do it.
I don't understand how you could do this. How could you throw away all the memories, all the stories we had, like none of them mattered?
The bedtime stories I read to you. The things I did for you. The things I wanted to do for you. The future I imagined with you. The dreams I gave you. I gave you my soul and somehow you left with it.
You made every fear and every nightmare I had come true.
How could you do that knowing that I would never, in a million years, do the same thing to you?
How did everything we had mean so little to you?
How did I mean so little to you?
I still don't understand how someone can be that selfish with another person's heart.
And what hurts almost as much is knowing you knew exactly how much this would destroy me.
I think the part that hurts the most is that I used to tell you to love yourself. I used to tell you to see your own value when you couldn't see it yourself. The more I tried to make you believe you were worth loving, the more you learned to choose yourself over me.
And I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped being worth choosing at all.
Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have taught you how to love yourself when I was the one who ended up being left behind.
When you used to hurt me, I would joke that you were cold, that you were as cold as a robot.
You weren't.
You were colder.
I never wanted to fall in love with you. You were the one who dragged me into it. And when I finally stopped fighting it and let myself fall, you buried me in it and walked away.
I still can't understand how you could hold all of those memories, all of those promises, all of that love, and just decide you were done.
I learned something from you, I guess.
There is no amount of love you can give someone that will make them love you back the way you need them to.
And that's a horrible thing to learn from someone you thought would be your forever.
I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.
It's unfair.
Message Unsent