Unsent text message to Nicole

Would it freak you out if i were to reveal the depth of my compulsive need to create everything you inspire in my mind or pose to be shown the full extend?

Ive been thinking about you again, not sure if thats a good or bad thing.

You're always on my mind, but sometimes its more than usual. Right now is one of those times. I find myself daydreaming about what-ifs and how I couldve done things differently in our relationship. Im wondering if im important to you still or if…

but it wasn't obsession .

For the first time I loved someone with my whole entire heart .

My ego did not exist.

I know you think you’ve lost because you lost him, and you feel like he erased you. But you have no idea how much you’re still here.

That girl he’s with now, who you’ve never met but you probably hate, has started many days in tears because he called her your name by mistake again.

He still remembers your birthday, and…

I'm so angry at some of the things you did, and the way it ended without even giving us the opportunity to try and resolve the issue.

But I can't bring myself to tell you this, because I know you are a very traumatized person, and your depression controls your reality right now.

Understanding and empathizing with that…

It was hard doing what I did today, still thinking about you and our bond. I don’t think ill ever love again. I miss you chiku. Good night my love.