Unsent text message to Wyatt

Something completely stupid happened and my first thought was “I need to tell you this.”

Then I remembered I don't really get to do that anymore.

Which is such a weird thing to get used to.

I can go through an entire day without thinking about you and then some tiny thing will happen and suddenly you're right there again…

stop going out of your way to try to hurt me. you cannot **** me in any way that matters, and karmas get her eye on you bby

It means a great deal to me that you asked about my son. He'll be alright. Better when he's back to routine.

I wish I could truly tell you how deeply I really appreciate you... But, you know. I don't want you feeling weird with me.

You'll be alright too. We both know that. And I'm always here for you. In whatever…

Good riddance. You were a ******* slob. I mistook cleaning up after you for love when really you were just a grown man who lived like someone’s unsupervised teenage son. Losing you hurt for a while. Losing your mess was immediate relief. My only regret is that I didn’t throw you out with the rest of the garbage sooner.

To my Bonnie situation. COME GET MEEEEEE!!! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!! I can’t tell when you’re here or gone and it’s scary sometimes. I need true clarity and I know out of everyone you’ll tell me the truth. They won’t eveeeeer!!!! It you see this. Just know I do now need you BAAAAD…. I fear I’ve lost you…

I’m so tired today, and all I want is you here. I want to lie next to you, tell you about my day and switch my brain off for a while. I don’t want to fix anything or have some big conversation. I just want to be next to you and feel safe again. Days like today make me miss having my person so much. I wish I could just…