iMessage
Hola mi niña (if I can even call you that anymore…) I saw Juan today, he was in town for work. He asked me about you and what happened. I gave him the “long story short”.
I’m not gonna lie, it was hard. It felt like there was so much good that I also wanted to rave about. About how you were also so great. You are, you still are…
And I’m scared. I’m scared that I will realize that I had something amazing and I ruined it by leaving. I’m also scared that I wouldn’t be happy by staying.
The only way that I can make this work in my head is by following my own journey now and hopefully I find what I need. Or alternatively, I learn that it was always you and I can only pray to god that I am not too late.
It’s not fair to make you wait and I don’t want to give you any hope when there might be none. That’s why I am not texting you even though I want to so badly. Every day.
I am really not trying to give you false hope and trying to be as clear about that when we do text. I am also having to get so angry with you just to get by. It’s not fabricated anger, it’s real, but I am definitely leaning on it as much as I can so that I can try to focus on other things other than you.
Hope you’re doing alright ❤️
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