iMessage
i used to laugh at your jokes, i used to love listening to all of rants and yaps about your favorite things. i used to like your rebellion. i used to like sitting in the car with you listening to all of the things you had to say and now i simply don’t. i rather be on my phone scrolling TikTok. i rather be at home in my own bed without you present. this love didn’t fade away out of nowhere it came with persistence. it took years of me trying to be someone you wanted me to be you didn’t have to say the words i already knew i used to love all of your flaws and now i hardly want to love them at all. the constant lies you’d throw at me then make me seem like the bad guy for the decisions and choices you made to hurt me. the lusting over other women i used to get so appalled and jealous, but now ive come to the terms that if someone truly loved me they would’ve never put me in a position where i had to constantly worry, where i had to question my self worth because you didn’t feel yourself as worthy already. i had to pause my life to wait for the next big thing the next awful choice you would make that would affect not only our relationship but my mental health. i held years of love for you and didn’t let it diminish until i was tired outgrown, of the immaturity you display. i loved you a little less yesterday and i love you a little less today. i think back on times where i was fooled by your tactics. the long cries i had to spend with myself the long hours i spent thinking “why am i not enough.” i was never not enough i was more then enough for you and you decided to degrade me diminish my feelings all the time. the arguments stopped becoming worth it for someone who never changes for someone who behaves like a ravish animal. for someone who supposedly is doing better but is only better for a couple of minutes so you have me again. so don’t forgive me when i say i lost love for you because your forgiveness will mean nothing to me but my own that costed 3 years of my life.
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