Unsent text message to Nicholas

I'm sorry, I really know I shouldn't. There's something about him that seriously throws me off. Maybe I just don't know enough. Maybe I just don't see what you see. Maybe I just don't want to share you. I know I'm jealous, I'm not afraid to admit that. But it's not just that. You've known this guy for two weeks…

Didn’t say it today, but I usually do. It would have been a stupid response to how you greeted me this morning, and I was legit startled. Glad you laughed when I gasped and said “****. Holy ******* ****.” So glad you laughed! Tbh it is the highlight of my day when you look right at me, and you smile. Man you are so…

why is heartbreak supposed to be my lesson, when i've spent the last 30 years heartbroken? what more is there to learn of it now? i've tasted all its flavors, bitter most of all. the tangible feel of it through my body changes too... does it come with different colors? and scents? like those markers i used to have…

Had the ring ready to go and well you know what you did 💔💔💔💔

I want to text you and tell you I wanted to see you and tell you just everything about my feelings so you can either tell me you want me to stay or tell me to finally let it all go.

Hey, I want to explain.

Before making big decisions, I try to take three days if I can. That way, I'm not making a choice based on snap judgment or on flared, surface level feelings. Three days to weigh my options, pros and cons, wants and reality, and any presenting evidence. It feels like torture sometimes. Both in…