Unsent text message to Courtney

I deserve to think clear, sleep at night. I know u cheated the first 5 years u stopped cause i showed u look i know what ur doing it’s not hard. It helped we grew stronger but 2017 we get married . Then i kept seeing late night texts , dating sitesz, looking for affairs, neighbors near me *****, whatever u fid! U say…

I’m sorry I don’t have family money to offer to you.

I’m sorry I don’t have family or familial support to treat you like a King.

I’m sorry I don’t earn 6 six figures.

I’m sorry I am too old for your “have a baby” dream…

If you came looking for me on the unsent project, then did you also come looking for me here?

I wish there was a way we could talk.

\- S

Six years, and the silence you left behind is still the loudest thing in every room I walk into.

We were always terrible at staying together. We were a cycle of wreckage and return, leaving each other, bleeding out the distance, and then crawling back to the start because neither of us knew how to survive the quiet…

Sometimes I need someone to be my rock just like I am theirs. Sometimes I get tired too. Sometimes I want something too just some emotions. Just a little bit. I want a vacation from everyone's rock just for a day. Can it be all about me. A day where I don't have to prove myself just a day when I'm me. Someone asks me…

Maybe in another life we are just two cats in love, hiding in the shadows and eating out of a rich couple's dumpster. Maybe then, this wouldn't be so hard. We could just curl up together in the dark, just us, so promise you'll meow at me then, just so I know it's you. But in this life, we have to keep our distance…