iMessage
You mishandled me when I truly felt so certain you wouldn’t… it broke me in a different way than I’ve felt before because I’ve not trusted another completely. For weeks now all I want to do is lay in my bed when I’m not forced to be doing other things out of obligation and responsibility.
The saddest part of that I think is that I would be so elated to hear from you. For you to mend this. I am not hopeful, which is why I only lay around, but it would mean so much to me.
I hate that people expect I will feel better this will get better etc without action from you. I guess they haven’t known me long enough and you haven’t either to understand that this is just how I’m going to be from now on barring you miraculously come around.
Oh well, another day of not being able to say, “fun? lol nothing is fun for me anymore!!!” Because that’s an ******* way to respond to someone saying I hope you’re having fun!
I know it is but seriously?!? I’m not. I didn’t. I wasn’t. I told them that having fun with you was the first fun I had in over a decade do they assume I’m lying?!?
I know they mean well but ffs… no, I’m not looking forward to anything at all. So don’t ask. No I’m not having fun, I won’t be, don’t ask, it’s borderline insulting at this point.
I am going through the motions. Don’t expect more out of me, just in case any one else had anything to do with this happening, which they probably didn’t but, just in case… this is getting off the rails so whatever
I wish you’d prove me and everyone else ******* wrong. Truly.
Message Unsent