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...but at who's expense?
You can't lie, cheat, manipulate, use and abandon someone, blame shift and project when you're expected to be held accountable for your actions and then just be like 'I cHoOsE pEaCe'.
That feeling in your heart, the ache, the churning in your stomach that hasn't subsided, the nervous, jittery feeling of your cortisol levels spiking at all hours of the day and night, how you peer around every corner. That's not fear of me, that's the unwavering, relentless, crippling weight of your guilt and shame. That's the companion that will stand, looming in every doorway, in the corners of every room you enter. The omnipresent oppression that will occupy the vast black hole where your heart is supposed to be. It's the dreams that haunt you, keep you from resting and wake you in the middle of the night.
That relentless craving for attention, the unquenchable thirst for validation, endless streams of men will never be sufficient to qualm the sensation you feel, the yearning and desire will remain. Everytime you look at yourself in the mirror, lift your phone to snap a selfie and make that performative smile from your ideal angle, you will see an empty shell of the woman you should be. All the time you've wasted repeating the same toxic cycles will catch up, it does not tire, it does not require breaks or rest and it never misses it's intended recipient.
Choosing peace isn't your decision, it is mine. I see you for who you are and that terrifies you because you are a horrible person. If I listed everything you said and did you me on this forum I would get banned and you've never even so much as apologized. I have never even my life been more betrayed but I realize now that you don't deserve any of my energy, whether that be positive or negative. I am choosing peace for myself because you are incapable of it, I will show you how wonderful it really is.
No revenge because your life has already been abhorrent enough and karma will be far more cruel than anything I could think of.
This will be my final post here, I am done
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