Unsent text message to Erin

You know it. You say all the time that my back is screwed from all the knives in it.

Youve already stuck one in there by doing what youre doing..

May as well try to fit another one in there on your way out like we all know is coming, huh?

Why couldnt you just love me…

I have one account on my cell phone and one account on my Chromebook. On my Chromebook I figured out how to turn off whatever it is that lets other people see if you’re online. I never figured out how to do that on my . I don’t really care that much. I just like to look in on you from time to time.

Also, I can be a…

I’ve always been a lover girl. I love love. Everything about it.

I met someone who I fell head over heels for. For the first time in my life; I was sure. It was him. My person. I loved him deeply. I had the most perfect love. I would’ve married him in a heartbeat.

And then it was gone. On a random Tuesday. I remember…

This whole “no contact” thing has made me miss the good times. It hasn’t made me remember the bad, or all the reasons things ended. But now that you’ve reached out to me, even over something so stupid and insignificant, it’s made me realise something very clearly: I don’t want you in my life anymore. It’s done. I…

It was limerence. Maybe for both sides? I wish I knew the real you. I wish you knew the real me. I think we saw each other in moments. But so much of the time was spent in our heads. I hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry if I freaked you out or was confusing. It was all really confusing for me. I still did deserve to be…

All this time, all the lies on both sides. Why does it feel like only I am singled out. Still your monster, still the villain.