Unsent text message to Nathan

Remember when we had to go to church with your parents that easter. You wore that ahort little dress. You had that beautiful black hair up. Your neck looked amazing. Your skin was always milky white. I dreaded walking in that church. All those old fat guys asking why we ain't been in monrhs. When we sat down i…

You probably hate me but i really did care about you I knew that you were fighting and internal battle every time I was near you so I avoided even looking at you i actively avoided you your work place and limited myself to 3 visits a week I even talked to some you worked with told tell me when you were rostered so I…

Ok, in retrospect I should have tried the in person apology 3 years ago.

It would have brought things to this anticlimatic endind a lot faster and without all the turmoil.

Though to be fair the turmoil was part of the journey.

I don’t get it. Logically I just feel like I should let all of this go. I just have so much to achieve and learn and energy that can go to helping people… and I want to do that.

I miss you and I actually do care about you. I want you to be okay. I want your soul reassured and well rested. That you know fear and…

The person who you became in the last week of our breakup is not somebody that I recognize. Our relationship was filled with so much love, playful banter & appreciation of the other. When you called me to break up with me, your once jolly voice was the coldest I’ve ever heard it. I did nothing to you but love you and…

Just once i wiah you would apeak to me. One laat time. I aaw you look away with tears in your eyes. I kmow you thought i would come back but honestly...why would i? I saw rhe game. You know I saw it. I know I'm not perfect. But i would never speak about another woman in front of you. You knew i wanted to f-ck K. I…